Yesterday I had to do some stuff with all 4 of the kids that I've never had to do before and I realized that as much as I say how blessed I think I am and how much I really enjoy my kids- it's mostly a thinly veiled attempt at making myself feel better...or maybe it's just that I do enjoy them and we do have so much fun- at home, when there's NOTHING else to do but play and snuggle and hold babies, when I'm not trying to get anything done or cleaned or picked up, eat a normal, sit down meal, take a shower at a decent time and I don't care if the babies sleep at the right time, wake at the right time or eat at the right time! But, if I do wanna do anything other than "normal" everyday life (basically, just feeding, clothing, diapering, bathing, playing with my 4 kiddos) that's when my life starts to fall apart.
Korey's been working late this week, so I wasn't sure when he was going to come home and I didn't feel like I could wait for him to go and vote, so I packed up all my kids and went to the polling place! I laughed about it at the time, but, honestly, it took me longer to get the babies into the stroller and Hailey and Jack out of their carseats and all walk in and then leave and do it all over again- than it did to fill in the 3 circles that were on the ballot. It really felt like a huge waste and not at all worthwhile. (yeah, I know it was...just didn't quite feel like it 45 minutes later, when I finally left) Then, after that, since we were all in the car we went to the store and bought a present for Korey for Father's Day and I really didn't think that one through...thankfully we were at the local hardware store and the owner was willing to help me carry the "present" to the front of the store and out to the car! (yeah...not my brightest moment...)
I absolutely consider myself blessed to have been given twins- there's a lot I love about them. Their smiles and giggles are just precious. The fact that they snuggle together while sleeping and play together while awake is just adorable. I love how they look so much alike, that they share the same personality and that they seem to switch on me, whenever I seem to think I have them "pegged" as one way or another. :) I absolutely am in awe of the fact that one of them may seem to be ahead of the other one in some new skill, but the next day the other one will catch up and I just can't get over how they poop on the same schedule!!
Twins are wonderful and precious, but they are a lot of work!
It's not that easy to pick them up and go anywhere. Carrying two babies into the store or the gym or church or a friend's house is a lot and it's getting harder as they get bigger. I can carry them both in their carseats, but that's pretty heavy (at least 20 or so lbs on each arm). I can carry them both in my arms, but they are getting a little more squirrely and squirmy and I'm so afraid I'm gonna drop them...what I can't do, though, is carry the two babies (carseat or not) and hold Hailey and Jackson's hands! I am so incredibly thankful that God takes good care of my kids and that my mommy voice has, so far, been enough to keep them holding hands with each other and grabbing onto my pant leg! (at least most of the time...Jack has been known to "dart away", but thankfully his sister is faster and either tackles him or grabs his shirt...makes for an interesting scene in the parking lot, but at least we stay "semi-safe")
When the babies were first born I could pick up one with each hand, because they were so small, but now it's getting harder and harder to even pick them up out of their bed...it's bad and I knew it, but I'd been picking one of them up by an arm(the second one), until a friend of mine pulled her daughter's elbow out by doing that...eeek!! Now I just have to leave one in there, crying, and come back for her...bummer for all of our ears ('cause neither one likes to be left alone) and more miles for mommy to put on running back and forth from room to room! (doesn't it almost seem silly that I go somewhere to workout when I probably run 3 miles in my own home each day??)
It was so fun to have my arms "full of baby" when the twins were born, but it's so hard, now, to have my arms full of baby when my other kids need a hug or a snuggle or a kiss. I don't have an extra hand when I'm holding the twins. I can't just put them in a sling and carry them around. I don't have the ability to wear them on my back or on my front so I can still get stuff done if they're having a crabby day. I can't have Jackson snuggle on my lap while I'm feeding...at least Hailey has figured out that she can come and snuggle with one of the babies and hang onto my arm while I'm feeding (and not hurt one of the babies), but Jackson hasn't quite gotten there, yet!
Nursing the twins is really fun(think 2 sweet hands holding each other, 2 little hands playing with your hair, 2 sweet little milk drunk smiles) and, thankfully, burns a ton of calories (about 2,000 a day), but when you barely have time to eat 3 meals a day it's almost annoying to be eating constantly and always looking for something to quick "grab and eat". Plus, I don't think it's a good thing for my older kids to get used to snacking constantly, but it's kinda hard to always be "sneaking" food and not share at least once or twice! (and really...with all the other things going on at our house, why am I worried about my kids snacking constantly?? who cares, right?!) Not to mention the fact that two babies that are getting their first teeth and gumming and "biting" you while nursing is incredibly painful! We've been working on it, but it seems as if they're going to have their little brother's personality...so, I may just have to ride this one out. My doctor did give me a few ideas, so hopefully those'll start working soon ;)
These girls truly are precious and yesterday I met a woman that was an identical twin and it was fun to hear about her life and think about what the girls were going to be like and act like in the years to come, but, for now, I'm just hoping to make it through the next day alive, get some laundry done, so we all have clean clothes to wear, take a shower before 7pm and eat enough food that I can keep my babies fed! I know that my twins aren't a curse- they are a blessing, but I do, often, feel like God must have laughed when He decided to bless me in this way!