Sunday, December 9

let's be honest...

I'm not super woman...I wish I were. 
my house isn't always often looks like 4 or 5 or even 6 giant tornados went through it.
I don't always clean up the house or fold the laundry after the kids go to bed...sometimes I choose to just sit on the couch, paint my fingernails and watch tv or play on the internet instead.
I love getting my 2 favorite babysitters...they clean up the house, fold the laundry and wash the dishes after the kids go to bed
I lied to the doctor when she asked me if the girls play peek a boo and patty cake...I've never played those games with them.
I put detangling spray in Hailey's hair...not because it works, but because she thinks it does and cries less when I use it.
I moved the twins to a forward facing carseats...then cried a little as I put them back in their infant carseats when I realized they had to be 20lbs and 1 year to move around:(
I tell my kids stories all the time...reading to them all at the same time is akin to wrestling 4 gorillas while balancing a book in your hands (or so it seems, I've never actually wrestled even 1 gorilla while trying to read it a story)
no matter how many times I put my son in his fireman dress up clothes or spiderman outfit....he always ends up with fairy wings and high heels.
I have painted my son's fingernails...mainly for the simple reason that I hate to see him cry when I say no.
I love to dress the twins in matching clothes...and would dress Hailey matching, too, if I weren't so cheap.
I often feel overwhelmed...with life, with being a good mom, with keeping it all together.
I don't love chaos and confusion...all the time, that is :)
I never button all the snaps on the twins onesies...I consider it good if I at least button one of them
I don't spend a 1/2 hour each day reading and studying my Bible...I consider it a good day when I read a verse or two and it's semi- quiet and distraction free while I'm reading it.
I let my kids watch tv so I can read my Bible...or take a shower, or clean the bathroom
I stay at home a lot...mainly because going anywhere is just so much work
I am not organized...I wish I were more organized
I don't clean on a schedule...I clean when the bathrooms or floors get too messy to handle
I let piles of clean laundry sit for so long that I'm not sure what's clean or dirty...I then do the smell test
I smell butts...and rarely change a diaper that's not poopy
I ignore the quiet...just so I can enjoy it
my 3 year old has been having drives me crazy
I am growing my hair out...only because "quick and easy"=a ponytail while I'm walking down the hallway, rather than a quick shower and blowdry
I call the babies as I'm walking up the stairs...knowing that they'll whine at me, but follow
I fall asleep whenever I watch a movie with Hailey in the afternoons...and she always wakes me up!
sometimes I...
put on make up and get dressed a few minutes before Korey comes home from work
sit on my bed to read my Bible so I'm not distracted by my insanely messy house
go to bed without picking up the house
don't make my bed
take all 4 kids in the shower with me just to keep track of them and make sure they stay alive
am secretly jealous of Korey going to work
let my kids jump on the bed or couch simply because they're in another room playing and not hanging on my ankles
lay on the floor at the bottom of the steps and fall asleep while all the kids are playing downstairs
Today Hailey and I had the special privilege of going to a beautiful Ladies' Christmas Tea at my mom's church and I loved it. It brought joy and peace to my heart. But, most of all, it confirmed and continued to impress upon my heart something that I know God has been trying to teach me for the past month- I can't do it all and need to give it up! The lady who gave the talk was speaking about Christmas and doing it all and getting all wrapped up in gifts and decorating and all that stuff and missing out on the greatest gift-Jesus; but it spoke to my incredibly overwhelmed and overworked and over burdened heart...about more than just this Christmas season. A verse that Beth (the speaker) used was Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus" and she said, "that is the beauty and the wonder of giving your life to God"-even in the midst of hardship and chaos you can be filled with an incredible peace, that doesn't make sense and can only come from God. And, that totally struck home. I long for peace, I long for some peace in my heart, in spite of the chaos and craziness that surrounds me. I'm starting to see that maybe what God has for me is to learn that I can't do it all- something has to go...sanity, sleep, my relationships (with God and with others, too)...there's not time to do it all and there's not enough energy to do it all. But, by giving it all up and by resting in God and casting all my cares upon Him I know that He will give me the grace that I need to overlook the "good things" that I could spend a lot of my time doing and, instead, focus on the "best things"- the things that will have a lasting impact on my life, my marriage, and my children! And, hopefully, by relying on His grace, now, there will come a time when my time with God grows from a few minutes here or there to loosing myself in the Word and the amount of time I spend cleaning will, at some point, grow and become more of a routine and won't feel so overwhelming. Maybe I can even dream of a time when cooking dinner will not seem like a full day affair...

1 comment:

  1. Love this post. :) We all have our list- and isn't it wonderful that God offers us a place of safety and grace?