1 year

My sweet precious baby girls are 12 months old! 

first came Maysen Ann, as silent as a church mouse- just checking things out. then came Maelle Kay, screaming her little lungs out- mad as could be that momma forced her out of her warm little cocoon. 

wow. a whole year has gone by since they were first laid in my arms.

I'm sad, I'm happy...I'm basically a wreck!

This is it- the beginning of the end of an era for us; for me. 

A part of me is scared- scared that life isn't going to get easier; scared that life will get easier and I'll loose my dependence on God; scared of how I'm going to handle 2 walkers; scared that I'm going to expect more of myself as the girls get bigger; scared that people will expect more of me as the girls get bigger. I guess I feel much the same as I did a year ago- scared and fearful as to what the future may hold. 

A part of me is happy- so happy that this crazy, wild and incredible ride has an end in sight. Happy that as each month passes the girls will get more and more independent and will rely on me less and less for everything. Happy that soon my kids will be able to play together and interact more. Yeah, mostly just happy that there's an end in sight.

A part of me is sad- sad that my babies are this big. Sad that this year has gone by so fast. Sad that my babies are seeming less and less like babies and more and more like big kids. Sad that as they grow they will need me less and less. Sad that soon I'll have no baby on my hip as I walk around the house. Sad that this part of my life seems to have an end. 

my sweet dear, Macy, I love you so much little girl. You light up my life. You love to eat-you cry and cry if the food doesn't come fast enough, you love to nurse- you're always pushing your sister off and trying to steal her side, you love your sippy cups- and you love to steal Maelle's whenever you get a chance. You just love a lot, little one. You smile so much and laugh and giggle with the best of them. You're so easy going and you'd rather just sit and play with a few toys than chase after my heels all day. The one thing that gets you going, though, is if you think Hailey and Jack might be having fun with some toys without you. You love to investigate what they're doing and play with them. If I ever hear a baby crying, after I put you and Maelle to bed, I almost always find out it's you, because Maelle's picking on you. You're usually such a sweet little mellow baby, though. Jack can do whatever he wants to you without you ever fighting back or crying. You fall over and never cry- you're such a little toughie. The only time you're not so tough is when you're teething or sick- then you're all whine and cry! At that moment you just wanna be held and cuddled all the time. 

my precious spunky little Maelle. You are such a joy. You are the smallest of the two babies, but you make up for it in spunk. You are always trying new stuff- your newest trick is standing up in the middle of the floor, or "walking" on your knees with stuff in your hands. You're pretty cute when you do that. You don't laugh as hard as Maysen and you make us work a little harder to get a giggle out of you, but Hailey barely has to look at you before she gets you to smile and laugh. You're always so busy. But, I love when you sit and eat your food. You're so cute. You just pick it up piece by piece, very daintily, and eat it so slowly and cutely. You also love to pick on your sister in bed at night. You love to climb on her and sit on her and steal her nuk right out of her mouth. She just lays there and cries, but the best is when I come in you get up and start giggling and laughing :) I know you are going to have a fun and quirky little personality and I'm so excited to see it come out as you get older. My favorite thing about you is that whenever I sit down on the ground- you are always there, climbing up on my lap. You love to snuggle and be in my arms and I love that. I could just walk around cuddling you all day. 

I can't wait to see the little people you girls are going to become in this next year. You're so cute and so precious and this year has been the best year of my life, so far. I love you, precious girls and I thank God every day that He blessed my life so much that He made me your momma! Our family was not complete until you entered it!