today...

is the first day that I have to rely on a friend to help me out with the kids, rather than Korey or my sister and it's a little scary and a little humbling!

there have been a lot of humbling things happening to me lately...so, I guess this is just par for the course, but it's just so hard to accept help sometimes! I like to be the kind of person who can do it all myself, I like to put myself out there as someone who can handle it all- I don't like to admit my weaknesses or just admit that I can't handle it all.

I think that is why God gave me 4 little tiny kids!

Korey went back to work on Monday and I almost cried, but life was too crazy to have time for that...my sister left yesterday afternoon and I went for a walk with the dog and cried...I think I cried because I was tired, but selfishly I cried because life around here is just a lot for me to handle on my own!

there are moments like this- where I get to snuggle with one of my kids...

(like when my mom and sister are here holding the other 3) but there are more moments when I am just running in 4 different directions, have 4 little kids needing me, crying or whining, begging for my time and there's only so many arms, a mom has only so much room on her lap, I only have so much time, and there's definitely not enough sleep to go around!

Last night Korey stayed up for a few hours with Maelle, who was just crabby and not wanting to sleep, and it did wonders for my body and my mind to get some actual sleep. I so appreciate him and am so thankful that I was exhausted enough to just sleep regardless of how guilty I felt with him up and me sleeping, because I did need it and it was good that I got some rest in the night, because at 3 Maysen woke up and decided to be cranky, so I was well rested and able to take care of her! It's amazing how much more time and energy it takes to care for the twins than it did for Hailey and Jack! (and, I know that it's not just me forgetting how much work the other two were...it, honestly is more work!)