Thursday, January 24

forever changed

There's something special and sweet about my firstborn. All of my children changed me, but my entire world was rocked and I was never the same after Hailey came into it. The minute she was born Korey and I became parent's. We have never been the same since. We went from focusing on each other, our house, our dog- to sharing the focus of our precious daughter. Those first few moments home, when we knew that we, us alone, were fully responsible for this precious life, were so scary and stressful. I remember looking at her, in those first few moments and panicing, fearing that I would somehow screw this up; I would screw up parenting and forever ruin this precious life granted to me.I think that there is something special about a firstborn child and, for me, part of her special-ness is that she taught me to trust in God. I knew that I needed God's help to raise her and I needed God's help to not screw it up. Until my precious firstborn came into my life, I didn't realize how much I needed God and His Word in my life! She started something in my life that I'll be eternally grateful to her for- she started my deepening dependence upon God. God used her to prepare me for parenting all 4 of my kids. She was (and still is) such an energetic ball of fun that she prepared me, energy wise, for the twins and Jack, but mostly, the wait for her and the eventual bringing her home taught me that I couldn't do this parenting thing on my own- a realization that came in very handy when I brought home the rest of my children! It's easier now to know that I can't do it on my own and to trust in God each and every day, because it's so obvious, but God started that work in my life that first day that I brought my precious firstborn home from the hospital- took her out of her carseat and looked at her precious face. This girl will always be special to me, because she changed me so much for the better!!

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