got twins?!

I've only been a mommy of multiples for 5 months, now, but there are a few things that I have learned along the way and I know that a lot of them pertain to twins, but a few of them are universal, so I thought I'd share them with you all:
1) the verse in Proverbs that says, "when you are sad no one else feels the pain; when you are happy no one else can really feel the joy" (vs. 14:10) is absolutely true with twins! So many people have said, "wow, what a blessing" or "I always wanted twins" or "you're so lucky" or "I hope/wish/pray that I can have twins" and we always sort of smile and chuckle to ourselves, because although these girls have been the biggest blessing in our lives- no one else can share in the pain and the sorrow and the tired nights and the exhausted days- just as no one else gets to truly enjoy all the special things that we get to because of the twins!
2) nursing twins is hard work! It may look easy now and I may say it's easy, now, but it is exhausting work and a job that I definitely saw with rose colored glasses before I took it on! Just the sheer amount of "work" it takes for a body to produce enough milk for two babies is enough to exhaust you- not to mention all the time and energy it takes to just get two babies ready to nurse and keep two babies on the same schedule and deal with them growing and the milk not being there or being there too much. Just the sheer exhaustion and the time commitment have been the worst part for me. (although, those first 2 months of nursing were absolutely the worst and not fun at all!)
3)sometimes, actually most times, big blessings are also accompanied by huge costs! Maysen and Maelle are huge blessings and something that both Korey and I are so proud of, but having them has been one of the most taxing things to ever happen to either of us. It has taxed my friendships and broken a few of them; it has taxed our marriage and thankfully made it stronger and better; it has taxed our relationship with our families and brought us closer to some and farther from others; it has taxed our family and given Hailey and Jackson plenty of lessons in patience and learning to get their love and hugs from each other. It has cost us a lot to do our best to raise these girls in the last 5 months
4)carrying twins to 37 weeks and delivering them vaginally is still something that I consider one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, but that's nothing compared to caring for them and their brother and sister day in and day out! I thought "house arrest" was hard...but, being stuck at home with 4 kids, 2 of which have the flu, and are throwing up and pooping all over the place makes that look like a cake walk! I really thought bed rest was so irritating and it was difficult to watch the laundry pile up and Korey work so hard to keep everything running smoothly...but, that is peanuts compared to what it feels like to watch the laundry pile up, the cobwebs form before your eyes, the windows accumulate more and more fingerprints, the toilet look grimier and grimier and know that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it because you simply do not have time!
5)twins do really entertain themselves and play together (once they figure out where the other one is) and that makes life so much nicer and easier, but they still want their momma and daddy time and still whine and cry if they haven't gotten enough attention and snuggles for the day!
6)showering every day and by yourself is truly a luxury and one that this mom does not take lightly or for granted, anymore!
7)having a lap-full of baby is truly an amazing and blessed thing. It's so sweet to sit and snuggle with both of my girls at the same time, so sweet to see them snuggle together and soooo sweet to watch them suck on each other's hands or faces! they do have a love for each other and a relationship that the rest of us will never understand. I just consider myself blessed to be able to watch it blossom and unfold as the years progress!
8)Korey and I both know that these twins are gifts from the Lord and huge blessings for our lives and for Hailey and Jackson's lives, but mostly I think that Maysen and Maelle are blessed to have been born twins and get that wonderful and special privilege of growing up with your best friend- right next to you and I hope and pray that they love every minute of it!! These two little girls were given a gift that the rest of us can only marvel and wonder at. I'm so glad God gave me the blessing of being their mommy!!

5 months!

Maysen and Maelle are 5 months old, now! It feels like such a huge difference from the other months...not sure why, but this month I do sorta feel like we've hit a stride of some sort :) 

The girls are sleeping so much better...they have a schedule, of sorts, and they are just so adorable all scrunched up next to each other in bed. They've also started waking up and playing with each other, or the bed or sucking on the blankies, instead of crying and I LOVE that! They also roll over a lot, which makes falling asleep at night a little more difficult, but it sure makes it cute when you go to get them out of bed and you see these little eyes looking at you! 

 They both are sitting up pretty well. Maysen is still the better "sitter" and Maelle is still the one who has more head control when on her tummy, but they're starting to close the gap on each other! And, as you can tell, they both have plenty of rolls to spare these days! Can you believe how rolly-polly these little ones look??

 The girls are just incredibly enamored with each other and that just makes my day. I love how they love each other and just have so much fun together. They really don't even  need anyone else, because they're perfectly content sucking on each other's fingers, playing with each other's faces and basically just smiling and giggling at one another! LOVE it!! 

 did I mention that they like to suck on each other's hands?? ;)

 look at these two little bugs! it's so hard to believe that they've been a part of our life for only 5 short months- I feel like they've just always been here and I can't even really remember life without them. They add so much fun and joy to our days that I don't know what we'd do without them. I am absolutely and completely in love and I know I'm not the only one! :) 

At 5 months nursing the girls is still going really well! woo hoo! Our goal was 6 weeks and I really never thought I'd make it to even that. Those first few months were so hard and now its just a breeze and such a joy that I hope I never have to stop! :) Maelle went on a bottle strike for a few days, but she's back to taking a bottle, now, so we're all good there! They take 3 or 4 naps a day...if you count the morning one as a nap, its 4, 'cause they usually wake up around 5:30/6, eat and go right back to bed until 8ish, then eat again- stay awake, with a possible nap in the car or in the swing at the gym or in the stroller on a walk, then eat again around 10:30 or 11 and then go down around 11:30/12 for a nice long 2 or 3 hour nap, then eat again, then play around with us until about 4, then take a little snooze until I'm done making dinner (and sometimes they sleep til we're done eating...) and then they eat again at 5:30 or 6, then play, then help H and J get ready for bed, then eat again at 7:30, get their jammies on and play for a little bit then go to bed for the night! It's a great little life, isn't it?! :) 

day in day out...

there are days where this "ship" runs fairly smoothly and things tend to go as planned and we don't have too many hiccups in our day...those are the days that I can handle! And, yesterday was not one of those days. Jackson has been a little "orny" and out of sorts for the past few days- I think that he's getting his 2 year molars in and it hadn't been too awful, because it seemed as if Hailey had picked up the slack and was helping out so much and being such a great joy that she sort of off set his crankiness. But, yesterday, Maysen and Maelle were out of sorts, too. They didn't nap when they were supposed to, they didn't eat when they were supposed to...they didn't really do anything that they were supposed to do! It definitely reminded me that life here is hanging by a very fragile thread...there's not much between chaos and life and it seems like just as I get comfortable in life and start to think that we have some sort of a routine going on- someone or something throws a wrench in it and we're back to our survival mode, again! Let me just be completely honest- I HATE SURVIVAL MODE!! I just want life to work smoothly, for things to run well, to feel like I have even a semblance of life together...I hate the feeling of not being in control of being surrounded by chaos (it doesn't help that often the chaos is the result of 3 or 4 kids crying at once) of feeling out of sorts, myself. That is not a place I like to be or want to be. My phone died so I didn't know that Korey was going to work a little late yesterday, but when he finally walked in the door I just felt my entire body relax, my heart felt a peace that hadn't been there all day and I just felt like all was right in my life, again! I know that's a lot of pressure to put on a guy- to be the rock in his wife's life, to be the one to bring a semblance of order and peace to a household, but Korey carries that mantle well. He knew that I'd been having a rough day and he, Hailey, and Jackson went outside and played and worked until it was dinnertime and he knew that was just what I needed- a little bit of a break, a little bit of time to just hold and focus on my crying babies and get dinner done. He's a great man like that!!  

Before my girls were born I found a bunch of verses that dealt with God giving us strength to do things and Him being our Rock and I placed them all over my house...this is the best thing that I did before the girls were born to prepare me for now! I do get a chance to read my Bible almost everyday, but, well, I don't know how the rest of you are, but I often get up from the table or the couch or the chair and I forget what I read or I get busy or distracted and it doesn't seem to stick there...but, with these verses around I see them all the time and by God's grace they seem to stick out to me when I need them the most. One of my favorite is, "when my heart is overwhelmed- lead me to the Rock that is Higher than I" Psalm 61:2b and that is the one that I clung to yesterday...recited it over and over to myself as I bounced babies, clung to it as I hid in the bathroom and tried to collect myself, sang it to Hailey so she could dance around the living room as I held the other three crying babies and basically just made it the "mantra" for our day yesterday! I can only imagine what my heart, mind and soul would have been like without it- it was frazzled enough with the hope and peace of God trying to permeate it! :) 

Just in case you think my whole day is sad and hopeless, let me leave you with these two little antics of my oldest children: 

Jackson climbed up on the coffee table, as I was feeding the girls and went "jump, momma, jump" I said, "no" but...in typical Jackson fashion he didn't listen and jumped- aiming for the big ottoman...however, also in typical Jackson fashion- he missed and apparently hit his little man part, because he got up screaming his head off and grabbing himself and just gave me this horrified look. I had to try to hold back my giggles as he came running over and climbed on top of the girls just to get a hug and kiss from his momma! (too bad he didn't learn his lesson, though, and was up on the coffee table, again, a feeding later) ;)

Our neighbor went to a garage sale and picked up a bunch of clothes for Hailey, so she and I went through them after the littles were in bed and she had such a grand time looking at all the dresses, but the best was when she put on a blue one with flowers and said, "momma- you think Daddy like this dress and wanna take me on a special date- just like you when I wear this??" I'm so glad that this little girl loves her Daddy and I hope she never looses that! Actually, Hailey has been an absolute joy the last few days- not trying and testing and pushing boundaries like last week and it has been an incredible blessing. She has been a big help with all the kiddos and really enjoyed doing some little crafts with me in the afternoons and helping me make cookies or clean the bathroom or even fold clothes. We've just had the best time together!! 

springtime fun

My whole family just LOVES anything to do with being outdoors. Korey and I have always been outdoor lovers and I think all of our kids got that gene, which makes me so incredibly happy. :) There's nothing like a good sunshiney day to lift my spirits and put my heart back to rights. On Saturday, Korey and the kids were doing a lot of "work" outside with our tree stump and putting the swingset back up, so the M&M's and I decided to get all dressed up and join them! (yes, after all the work of getting them dressed up and outside they spent about 10 minutes out there before we headed back in so they could go down for their late afternoon nap, but it was so worth it) 

 at first I didn't know what to do with the "other" baby, so I brought out the jumperoo, but then I remembered that we had an old baby swing that Korey had as a baby in our shed...so, I got that out and Maysen definitely enjoyed herself more when she could swing with her siblings :)

 my little May-May in her Daddy's baby swing! Jackson spent hours and hours in this swing! I think she's gonna love it just as much!! 

 Hailey is just so in love with her little sisters. She's always taking care of them and watching out for them. It's so sweet. I just know that she's gonna be a great little "momma" for all her siblings (much to Jackson's chagrin...) ;) Today I even found her playing a matching game on my IPod in the middle of the girls and showing them what a kitty looked like and what it sounds like- it was so adorable!!

definitely 4 of the cutest kiddos that I know :)

 Hailey and Jackson were just incredibly excited to have their swing set back and be able to run and play on it! We have barely been inside since Saturday afternoon when Daddy put it back up :)

 my amazing husband even built a nice little sandbox for the kids underneath it...that's definitely been Hailey's highlight- most specifically the blue sand that her Nani had given her last year and we'd "saved" for something special! It is now basically all mixed in with the rest of the sand, but it sure was fun while it lasted ;)

Daddy's little helpers

Hailey and Jack just have the best time helping their daddy! I'm sure they're incredibly helpful :) I think the sign of a great Daddy is that he doesn't mind having his kids around and helping him, even when they get in the way!! (and my man is a GREAT daddy) :)

look alikes??

I feel like I just can't seem to figure out who Maysen and Maelle look like...Hailey looks like an exact replica of my big sister- Felicia and we all know that Jackson looks like his Daddy, but the M&M's are eluding me!

 I feel like they don't necessarily look like either Hailey or Jackson...what do you think??

 but, then I've never really thought Hailey or Jackson looked much alike until today, when he was wearing her hat outside ;) (before you judge me- he found it laying on the ground and put it on his head, all on his own) 

what do you think?? Do you think the twins look like either of the other two kiddos?? 

identical twins!

yup, that's definitely what I got!! 

Can you tell who is who in these pictures?? 

aren't they so cute all dressed up in their jammies and playing before bed?!

I don't often dress my girlies the same, but when I do the resemblance is remarkable! 

Korey had a hard time telling them apart in these pictures and I woulda, too! :)

Just in case you can't tell- Maysen is on the left and Maelle is on the right!

aren't they cute?

I think Maysen likes chewing on Maelle's hand rather than her own...and, isn't Maelle's face just perfect?? 

their own sense of style

My two older kids  both have a great sense of style! 

 aren't they just the cutest...wearing Daddy's workboots and mommy's clogs?? :)

 poor Jack has a hard enough time walking on a normal day...these workboots just about put him over the edge! 

 some days I really regret letting Hailey pick her own clothes and its kind of embarrassing...

some days I just love the outfits she puts together and they make me laugh so hard...

today is one of these days- I just love what she came up with this afternoon- 

her kitty swimming suit, flower jammie shorts, pink socks, and flip flops all topped off with a red and white striped sweater- LOVE it! :)

There have been a lot of pictures these days, because Korey's been working alot of nights- don't get too used to it! :)

I'm happy!

that's what I said to Korey this morning and 99% of the time it's true! :) I'm so happy being at home and being with my 4 kids, but there are days when it's so nice to get out and do something all by myself, for myself and just not think about my kids for a few hours! Yesterday I got that chance and it was AMAZING!! Yes, we had to pay $40 to 2 babysitters for only a few hours and Yes, I was nervous about leaving all the kids- especially the twins with 2 highschoolers, but Yes at that point it didn't matter- I just needed some time away! And I consider it the best $40 I've spent in a long time! 

4 months!

Ok, Maysen and Maelle have been 4 months for a while, now, but up until yesterday I'd not taken their pictures with the cute little month stickers...oops! 

 anyways, better late than never...here's a little bit of what's new around here at 4 months of age:

the girls love to hold hands and do it often...I still think it's super cute and can't seem to get enough pictures of it :) 

we still get a million comments of how full our hands are and I still have no idea how to respond! someday I'm gonna come up with a great "retort" to it, but for now, I'll just stick with smiling and nodding and laughing to myself! The best part is that they tend to say it when it's just me and the girls somewhere...then I really laugh- if they only knew that the twins are the least of our problems! :)

 honestly, don't turn me in to the "bad parent police" but these beauties usually get a bath about once a week...if they don't go longer. I'm not even lying when I tell you that I gave them a bath yesterday and couldn't not remember the last time they'd gotten one before that! I generally wipe their chins out with a wipe if they get too smelly and I try to get all the boogies out of their hair, but I got bigger fish to fry, so we often don't worry about it too much! 

 the girlies LOVE their tummies and although they've both rolled over a few times, neither one of them does it with a lot of consistency. 

 smiles and giggles are what we get all the time with these two! I don't know what life would be like with 3 children and if Maysen had been born and then Maelle a year or two later, but I truly believe that they are such great babies because they have each other to entertain each other, they have each other to sleep with and they just don't have any other choice than to sleep when put in their pack 'n play and play when awake. (I guess they do...they could cry and sometimes do, but not often) 

 Maysen seems to have a love affair with her tongue and just loves sticking it out whenever she gets a chance! It's so cute and I remember Hailey doing the exact same thing when she was around this age!

 Maelle just loves to giggle and drool and smile and drool some more! 

So far nursing is still going well- getting easier these days! I've even nursed in  for real public (I've nursed at friend's houses and in front of friends numerous times) two times and although it was a bit of a challenge and a kind of embarrassing I was so thankful for the ability to nurse both girls! (both times were when I had forgotten to pack bottles and had two screaming and hungry babies on my hands) The girls are still eating about 5-7 times a day, generally 6, but sometimes they surprise me and throw an extra one in or cut one out, but only for about a 1/2 hour a time, so that has definitely opened up some time in my day! :) Nursing twins really is a huge time commitment and I'm incredibly thankful that Korey has been supportive of my desire to nurse the girls and to pick up the slack so that I can continue to do it!  And that God has blessed me and graciously given my kids some patience and fortitude to put up with mommy just sitting around for that many hours a day! :) And, that I have been able to keep up my milk supply enough to keep up with the demands of two growing girls! In fact, at our last appointment, the girls were farther ahead in the growth curves than Hailey and Jackson ever had been! It made me so thankful and so proud...I guess there is some truth to the fact that nursing gets easier the more kids you have, even twins :)

 Both Maysen and Maelle graduated from the size 1 diapers to size 1/2. Last week I had to buy more diapers for Jackson and I realized that it had been the first time I'd bought diapers since we had been blessed with our diaper and wipes shower from our parents! 

At their 4 month appointment Maelle weighed 11lbs 11oz and Maysen weighed 12lbs 2oz, but I really think that Maelle has caught up since then...she woke up twice in the night to eat and was barely satisfied with what I gave her. When they are taking a bottle both girls will eat 6 ounces! Pretty amazing, huh??!! (maybe that's where my extra pounds are hiding...) :)

Daddy is so fun

and so is playing on the tree stumps that he cuts down!! :)

 Korey had the day off today and Hailey and Jackson had so much fun watching him and his friend cut down the huge tree stump that the tree guys left and then dancing on the stumps that he "chunked" up! 

 aren't these tree stumps huge??? they were honestly bigger than Jackson!

 here's the giant stump that's left, the kids had so much fun jumping off of it and falling down the little hill!

It's great how little it takes to entertain my 2 older kiddos...they're so cute and fun! :) (and I have to admit that Hailey and I came out, after Jack went down for a nap, and jumped off it holding hands for about 30 minutes- all the while giggling- and it was some of the most fun I've had lately) :)

woohoo!

thanks, all, for your prayers! James says that the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective and you all must be righteous, because your prayers have completely transformed my week and my attitude- so, I thank you! Keep 'em up I still have 1/2 of the week to go :) 

 Jackson got his first "at home" haircut on Saturday and he looks like such a little man with it...no more baby hair! He was such a good boy, too, and sat super while Korey did it- the only thing he really disliked was the hair that fell off of the clippers onto his leg! He kept plucking at them and saying "icky, icky" 

 Maelle has just been a little ham, lately...rolling over, playing with toys, jumping in the johnny jump up...just going to town learning all sorts of new tricks! 

Hailey and Maysen are up to a lot of exciting things, too, just no new pictures ;)