Tuesday, May 5

All she needs

I got an email from some parenting website yesterday, I'm sure it was from some free thing that I'd signed up for and forgot about! (I tend to do that a lot, which is probably why my email in box is filled up with junk mail!) But, this email was saying how you, as the Mom, are the only interaction that your baby needs and that right now your baby is counting on you to be everything for it- to feed it, to clean it, to change it...you get the picture. But, what really got me thinking is am I really all that Hailey needs? She doesn't care if anyone else holds her or plays with her- not that she doesn't enjoy giggling at her Dad or smiling at her Grandma's, but she doesn't need them. I'm not sure I really think that I'm all she needs. And, on the one hand, it's nice to know that I am needed and there is probably no other time in Hailey's life that she will not "need" anyone else- or want anyone else, but me! On the other hand, it is so easy to get overwhelmed by feeling needed and to feel pressured into being the best Mom ever. Like yesterday, for example, Hailey and I went to visit my Mom and Dad- which was supposed to be fun!! Apparently, Hailey missed that memo, because she cried the entire time we were there. It was awful...especially when my Grandma came over and Hailey just cried and cried for her. (she tends to save her worst times for when my Grandma is around---in fact, she doesn't even believe me when I say that Hailey does actually have some happy times!) :) It wasn't even like she wanted anything- it seemed like all she wanted to do was cry! And, I was seriously upset. I didn't know what to do with her or how to calm her down, but as her Mom I felt like I should know that! I feel like a Mom should be able to diagnose why her kid is crying and to tell the difference between the tired cry and the hungry cry, the in pain cry, and the bored cry! But, I can't. I don't know if there is a difference in other babies and if Hailey is just weird, or if there truly is a difference in her cries to and I just miss it. But, whatever the reason I couldn't figure out what her problem was or how to fix it! In the end my Mom had to take her and swaddle her up and bounce her until she fell asleep. So, instead of just being thankful that my Mom is willing to take care of Hailey, a little part of me felt like a failure that I couldn't calm my own child. Why is that??? Maybe I feel too much like I have to be Hailey's everything and that I should be the super Mom that has it all under control and doesn't need any assistance- but, really, who is that Mom? Who can do it all by herself without any help or advice? So, I guess that I really am not all that Hailey needs, she just doesn't realize that yet!! :)

1 comment:

  1. Jenni,
    I think you are right on. With Katrina I remember being mad at myself when I couldn't figure her out. I wanted to be the only one who could calm her down or who knew what her cries meant. I felt inadequate when someone else, like my mom, stepped in and stopped the crying.
    But, it's good too, like you say, thatyou are not all that she needs because it is way too much pressure! With samuel I am thrilled no matter who calms him down! Not really but you get the idea. So many people NEED me right now and that is overwhelming for one person. Getting and accepting help is what I NEED to do!