evening alone

Here's Hailey and I enjoying some time without Dad! (she was cranky, so I took her clothes off...don't ask! It makes her happy, so we just go with it!!) :)
Here's the three of us ready for our walk! (I couldn't get either one of them to look at the camera and this was the only picture that didn't have Hailey crying because Allie kept hitting her or trying to lick her ears...)

Korey is on call again, this weekend, so Hailey and I spent the evening alone. (with Allie, of course!) It was a beautiful night, so we decided to go for a walk. It should have been a calm, relaxing evening for a walk, but with Allie that is just a dream that has yet to be realized! If I do end up taking her with me I have to put Hailey in the snugglie and walk Allie(which for some reason is a lot more work than just pushing a stroller!), but if I leave her behind I kind of feel like a bad dog owner, because she really doesn't get a lot of exercise. So, the three of us set off...we got, maybe, a block away before I realized that taking Allie for a walk without her choker collar is more of a nightmare than usual! (she lost it at my parent's house...) But, we did persevere and ended up putting Hailey to sleep and getting a lot of exercise(my arms as well as my legs-actually I think that my calves got the most of the workout, because I kept trying to lean back and pull Allie). Oh well, Allie didn't pull on the way home and I always know that it is a good walk when she's too tired to pull on the way home. :)

I'm still waiting for Korey to come home and now I hear the wind blowing like crazy...so it makes me wonder if he'll come home at all tonight or if I'll spend the night sleeping alone, too. I do hope that he comes home, but he always feels like it's such a waste if he has to have the on call truck home and not work, so he'll probably be hoping that he gets more calls!

fun times with an elephant

Last night I had Hailey on the table and she kept grabbing at stuff, so I found one of her stuffed animals and it was just so cute to watch her "play" with it.

Professional Pictures?!

We had my neighbor, Sheila, come over to take some pictures of Hailey the other day. I was so excited to have a little photo shoot and Hailey was being so happy that day, so I figured that she'd be on her best behavior--boy, was I wrong. Isn't that what kids live for??? To prove their parent's wrong? Hailey does, anyways...so, she cried pretty much the whole time and just wouldn't smile. Sheila got what she could (which did turn out to be some super cute pics...thanks, Sheila!!) and left. Korey came home soon after she left and he got Hailey smiling(go figure...she's a daddy's girl), so I got out the camera and took these photos. They definitely aren't as good of quality as Sheila's, but at least the baby is still cute. :) I just loved all the stuffed animals around her. We had so many people give us cute little ones and they really came in handy!!

First Fishing Experience

Here she is chilling on the boat seat. I took pity on her and took off the lifejacket!
Isn't the pink floppy hat cute??

She had to almost lay down with the lifejacket on- it was just a little too big. :)

On Sunday we decided to take Hailey out in the boat for the first time. She loved everything about it, except for wearing the life jacket. It was a little big, so it was hard for her to sit down in it. She looked so funny...you could only really see a little head, some stick arms, tiny little sprouts of legs and a big round life jacket! No wonder she hated it!! It wasn't very stylish. I'm glad that I found the life jacket at a garage sale, though...I did feel better with her in it and I'm sure as she gets more and more active I'm gonna really like having her in it! Poor Korey didn't catch very many fish, though. Actually, he didn't catch any- I think we distracted him! It's a little different than just taking me and my book along. Plus, we brought so much stuff with us in the boat that I'm pretty sure he didn't have too much room to move around. I kept thinking of things that Hailey might need...as it turn out she really didn't need any of it, except her little sweater and the diaper. But, she did need a little umbrella or something to keep the sun off of her and I forgot that!! ha,ha,ha. go figure- the story of my life!

4 months

Happy 4 month birthday, Hailey! I love you so very much, my beautiful, blue-eyed little baby!

She looks so contemplative...like she's trying to figure out all the problems in the world! (or at least why she doesn't get to eat constantly!! or maybe she's just pooping her diaper...hmmm...could be!) ;)
There's the smiley girl I know and love!

The doctor said that I should start her on cereal, but does this baby look like she's ready to sit in the highchair and eat??? (she's looking at the toy that she pushed onto the floor) :) Or maybe it's just her Mom who isn't ready to feed her cereal, yet. I did buy a box, today, but I just can't bring myself to have her eat it. Maybe in a few weeks...or by 5 months! I just don't want my baby to grow up, yet.

Look how hard she's concentrating on the book. She almost looks like she's reading it.

Such a relaxed happy baby! (this is the outfit she started out the day in...she's now in her 3rd) She's not even interested in playing with her toys...she just talks to them with her hands in her lap or in her mouth. what a silly girl! ;)

Missed bible study

Yesterday Hailey had her 4 month appointment and had to get her shots. She wasn't very happy about that, and in turn, neither were we! I did feel pretty bad for her, but I did really want to go to bible study! So, since I had to miss Bible Study last night, I'll share with you what I learned! :)
We have been studying the book of Titus and this week we were studying Titus 2:11-15. The part that really stuck out to me the most, or the insight that I really gained was in verse 14. It says, "who(speaking of Jesus) gave himself up for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for himself His own special people, zealous for good works." In the study we cross referenced a few places in the Bible where Jesus explains what "good works" are and the one that I most decided I neede to work on is being like Mary and sitting at Jesus' feet and soaking in His presence. I had just talked to my friend, Naomi, who had spent the afternoon at a park with her heavenly daddy just soaking in His presence and reading and journaling. And, while I know that that is no longer practical for me, I do know that I don't spend the time that I should even meditating, reading, or even memorizing scripture. In fact I think I seriuosly fall short!! So, that is my goal for the upcoming weeks- that I learn to spend more time with my Savior, either praying, journaling, or reading and meditating on His Word! I don't know how this can be practically accomplished, but I figure that I spend a lot of time feeding Hailey and if I took just one of the times that I feed her and spent it reading my bible, instead of playing on facebook that would be a good start. And, if I took another time of feeding and spent it memorizing a bible verse I'd kill two birds with one stone- I'd be meditating on the Word and I'd be hiding it in my heart. Plus, if I read/memorize outloud- maybe Hailey will learn to speak Bible verses as her first words. :) Ok, that's maybe a little too much to ask for, but it has to be better than reading "yellow bird, red bird, orange bird...yellow plant, red plant, orange plant..." over and over and over again. (that's her favorite picture book right now!! Actually, it's the only one that she'll actually really look at the pages for a little while!) ;)
So, you should ask me how I'm doing and keep me accoutable- I know that I'm definitely going to need it!! When he talks about trying hard to accomplish things, C.S. Lewis says that you should be, "Not hoping to get to heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you." That is why I want to work on this aspect of my Christian faith. I don't want to be a christian that gets to heaven and just barely eeks by and gets in by the skin of my teeth. I want to be a christian who walks in and can feel confident greeting the Lord, because I have spent a lifetime getting to know Him. I don't want to Waste My Life!! I want it to count for something and I want it to count in a way that my daughter will see it and see Jesus in my life!

A bad day at the Konietzki household!

Here's the one bright spot of our day- Hailey watching American Idol!! Does that make us bad parent's?? She's just so cute that I can't help but love letting her watch it. :)

Yesterday was a bad day at our house! It started out beautifully- Hailey slept in, I got a look of work done before she got up...but, I shouldn't have been caught off guard. I guess you sort of forget how much you missed someone when you walk into a laundry room full of clothes or a mud room full of "stuff" and it's very easy for him to forget how much he missed you when he just wants to sit down and relax and you have a bunch of "chores" for him to do! (he had been gone for a few days...they were piling up!!) :) I guess if you have ever read the book, Love and Respect, I'd have to say that we got on the crazy cycle!! The worst part was that we even knew it and didn't care- I think we both should have been singing that country song, "I just want to be mad for a while!" That would have pretty aptly described both of our feelings last night. It all started when Allie, Hailey and I went outside to sit by Korey while he was working on my mother's day present! (which turned out very nicely!) I put Hailey on her little blanket, playing with a book and went to do some weeding. In the meantime Allie decided that she'd lay down on the blanket, too- no big deal, right??? Well, that's what I thought, but it turns out that Allie brought her kong with her, which rolled over by Hailey and then Allie decided that she wanted it, so she took it and in the process she scratched Hailey's hand!!(yikes...another bad mom move to add to the book!) So, Hailey was screaming bloody murder and wouldn't calm down- not that I blame her, I've been scratched by Allie before and it does hurt! Hailey finally fell asleep outside in her stroller and all was fine, but eventually she had to wake up and she just wasn't in the best mood...so, I spent my evening rocking and holding her until she finally ate and went to bed! I guess that would have been the perfect time for Korey and I to go to bed...not pick at each other and get on each other's nerves. Who would have known that Korey bringing up a laundry basket full of clean clothes and me asking him to hang a picture frame tree would cause that big of a problem! Now we know! ;) Good thing that each day is a new day and we don't have to bring yesterdays problems to today!!! (not that we won't be able to find other things to fight about, but hopefully we'll head off the fight and be in better moods!)

vacationing with a baby???

Here's Hailey, flying her way to some fun times!!

I wonder if a vacation with a baby is even possible...I mean, is there anything that could possibly be relaxing about taking a 3 month old anywhere? This weekend I found out the answer to that question- it's "NO!", but that doesn't mean that it isn't fun! (it just means you need a few more days to recover from all that fun!!) :) Korey left on Thursday to go to Canada fishing with some guys from church, and, while I didn't really want to go to Canada fishing, I didn't really want to just be left behind, either. So...I shipped off our dog, packed up Hailey and decided to spend a night at my parent's and two nights at my sisters. The weekend turned out to be more fun than a water park, more exciting than a day at the mall, and more relaxing than an afternoon at a coffee shop.

Who really does need a water park when you have gallons of baby puke being thrown at each person in attendance, huge blowout diapers coming faster than the black anaconda, more baby drool than even the wave pool could hold and enough tears to float even the biggest of babies down the lazy river! And, oh were there tears...tears in the early, early morning, tears in the midday, tears in the evening, tears at night, tears at midnight and tears all the times in between!! (the tears really didn't come in full force until the ride home, so I don't know if it still counts, but almost three hours of crying is enough for any one weekend!)

Would you really miss a mall when you're busy walking the floors at 3 in the morning two nights in a row? or buying diapers, because you forgot yours at home? or taking more pictures of people with Hailey than even the Easter Bunny sees in a year! or sifting through all of your sister's stuff to make sure that this time you finally have all of Hailey's toys, burp clothes and clothes!

And, what would make a weekend more relaxing than a coffee shop other than having a whole bunch of hands to help you take care of a baby. Thanks to my wonderful and willing family I was able to take a nice, long hot shower (it was at 6:30, when the only other people awake were Hailey and my Mom and Dad...but, who's gonna complain??), enjoy a very relaxing, sunny and warm late morning chat on the back deck of my brother in law's parent's house(definitely a highlight of the trip!) while my sis in law, Kelly and her sis in law, Cara, held Hailey, eat yummy grilled burgers two days in a row without having to do any of the work myself!! (YAY!! Does life get any better than that??), finally get some pictures of my family put into a scrapbook(I did have to pay for my mother's day present from Korey to finish it, but...it's all our $ anyways, so what does it matter?! Right?), and spend three great days with people who love me and my daughter- even when we're not the funnest to be with!

mommy and me

Hailey and I were just hanging out on the couch one night!! We had so much fun- I did anyways. :) I find that I don't get very much accomplished these days, I just have too much fun playing with her!

For a baby who doesn't get a bottle very often, she's pretty good at holding it herself!! Hailey and I went outside to do some work in the garden- she was super helpful!! Can't you tell?

Hailey making faces at Dad!

16 weeks

Hailey will be 16 weeks old tomorrow and I can't believe how big she is getting! I feel like she just shoots up at night when I'm not paying attention. She has outgrown almost all of her 0-3 month clothes and is onto 3-6 month stuff. I weighed her at my Mom's the other day and she weighs about 12 lbs. (yay!! she doubled her birth weight!)

We finally got up her exersaucer and she's been having a really good time playing in it. It seems like she's kind of outgrown her bouncy seat, which is kind of sad...that thing was the only reason we got through the first 2 months of her life!! But, it is really fun to see her enjoy other things. She just loves to kick her legs and jump in there...I think she's gonna be standing before long! I hope she doesn't walk too soon. ;)

Happy Mother's Day to Me!

It's my first Mother's Day as a full fledged Mom and as I picked my little baby girl out of her crib this morning- it felt amazing! At that moment I was sure that there was nothing that could compare to being a Mom. So, for all of you I wanted to tell you what being a Mom of a 3 month old is like, from the viewpoint of a first time Mom!!

Being a Mom is...

-never getting another full night of sleep- you're either waking up because the baby is crying or waking up to make sure they're still alive because they aren't crying!

-cleaning up spit up off your baby and not even worrying about the pool that has congregated on your left shoulder

-taking at least three walks a day because that's all that makes your baby stop crying!

-having conversations with yourself in baby language- in the grocery store!

-finding yourself having hour long conversations with perfect strangers at Walmart, just so you can talk to someone other than yourself

-smiling and saying "good job Hailey" every time your baby burps or fills her diaper- even if it is in public

-getting excited for a few minutes of uninterrupted time with your husband- even if it is at 5 in the morning and he's barely coherent

-getting little smiles and giggles from the only person in the world who doesn't care if you brushed your teeth or did your hair yet this morning

-spending hours getting lost in a beautiful pair of blue eyes that don't belong to your husband

-thinking that the most beautiful child in the whole world is sitting right next to you and wondering why the rest of the world doesn't immediately notice

-spending more time and money shopping for diapers than anything else on your list!

-planning your showers around someone else's sleeping and feeding time

-carrying five things with you to the grocery store, only to get there and realize that you forgot your purse and the grocery list!

-having your husband not get up for work on a Saturday and realize that you've missed an entire week!

-looking around your house before bed and wondering how you did spend the day- since it, obviously, wasn't spent cleaning up the house!

-looking forward to sitting down and feeding your baby so that you can have a good excuse to get on facebook

-at the end of the day realizing that you didn't say anything other than "oh yeah, really" and "yes" or "tell me more about that story" all day long!

-rocking your baby to sleep at night and wondering how you managed to relax at the end of the day without her.

-finding yourself calling your Mom at odd hours of the day, just to tell her that you appreciate all the sacrifices she made for you throughout the years

But, most of all, being the Mom of a 3 month old is waking up in the morning, picking up your baby and being completely in awe of God's amazing grace towards you. It's hard to believe that just a little over a year ago Korey and I were praying and wondering if we were ever going to have a child in our life. I hope that I never get over the wonder of how great our God is.

Bad Mom?

Today I learned something new about myself...I finally realized that I am a bad Mom. Now, before you rush to my defense(which is what I would hope most of you would do :)) let me explain. I don't think I'm a bad mom in the sense that I leave my baby in a hot car for hours, or I don't feed her(although, I have forgotten a time or two...luckily not more than a few minutes or hours- her crying usually tips me off!!), or I let her wear a poopy diaper all day long(all night long doesn't count, does it??). But, I have come to realize that to a Mom, it doesn't matter how awful the occasion, all it takes for you to feel like a bad Mom is a few tears and a little dose of guilt.

Case in point- I cut Hailey's fingernails the other night, and instead of being the ultra-observant Mom that I know I should be when I'm cutting her nails I was talking to Korey and watching tv and I got her little finger in there! Now, it's not like I cut the tip off or anything, but there was blood and she got all quiet then put her head back and let out the biggest scream, followed by a few minutes of blood curdling cries. It was enough to make even the most cold hearted of mothers quiver and beg for forgiveness! So, here I am crying along with my 3 month old, saying I'm sorry honey, I'm sorry...mommy didn't mean it...I'm so sorry. (This went on for a good 5 minutes) I'm not sure if it really hurt her that much or if I was so upset that she was upset, but it was an awful revelation to finally realize that I do have the capability to really hurt my baby girl!

And, just in case cutting my child's finger wasn't enough to make me feel like an awful Mom I cut Hailey's neck, today, too!! I was trying to get her sweatshirt adjusted before I fed her(as if I really needed her clothes to be "perfect" before she could eat, but it just bothers me when her little shirts are up around her armpits...kind of slightly overboard, but I can't help it!) and I didn't realize that the zipper was kind of "stuck" in the folds of her neck(I guess we'll have to put her on a diet soon- she's already loosing things in her rolls!! ;)). So, I went to pull the sweatshirt down and somehow I cut her little neck. It was awful. I've never felt worse...here I was doing something that had no significance in life whatsoever and was not in the least bit important and to top it all off- I hurt Hailey in the process! I'd like to say that I learned my lesson and that I'll only focus on the things that are important from here on out, but I don't know if I can promise that, even to myself. Hailey's just too small and there's so much of her life left that I'm sure I'll find myself smacking her with a brush for wiggling while I'm trying to do her hair for a picture or putting her in a cute little dress and making her stay out of the dirt just because she looks cute or even (god forbid :)) making her sleep with little curlers in her hair just so she can have little curls the next day. And, I'm sure the list will go on and on...Hailey might even be able to add some stuff of her own someday! But, I did pray today that God would help me to be a Mom who can focus on the main things and a Mom who remembers to make the main things the main things!

All she needs

I got an email from some parenting website yesterday, I'm sure it was from some free thing that I'd signed up for and forgot about! (I tend to do that a lot, which is probably why my email in box is filled up with junk mail!) But, this email was saying how you, as the Mom, are the only interaction that your baby needs and that right now your baby is counting on you to be everything for it- to feed it, to clean it, to change it...you get the picture. But, what really got me thinking is am I really all that Hailey needs? She doesn't care if anyone else holds her or plays with her- not that she doesn't enjoy giggling at her Dad or smiling at her Grandma's, but she doesn't need them. I'm not sure I really think that I'm all she needs. And, on the one hand, it's nice to know that I am needed and there is probably no other time in Hailey's life that she will not "need" anyone else- or want anyone else, but me! On the other hand, it is so easy to get overwhelmed by feeling needed and to feel pressured into being the best Mom ever. Like yesterday, for example, Hailey and I went to visit my Mom and Dad- which was supposed to be fun!! Apparently, Hailey missed that memo, because she cried the entire time we were there. It was awful...especially when my Grandma came over and Hailey just cried and cried for her. (she tends to save her worst times for when my Grandma is around---in fact, she doesn't even believe me when I say that Hailey does actually have some happy times!) :) It wasn't even like she wanted anything- it seemed like all she wanted to do was cry! And, I was seriously upset. I didn't know what to do with her or how to calm her down, but as her Mom I felt like I should know that! I feel like a Mom should be able to diagnose why her kid is crying and to tell the difference between the tired cry and the hungry cry, the in pain cry, and the bored cry! But, I can't. I don't know if there is a difference in other babies and if Hailey is just weird, or if there truly is a difference in her cries to and I just miss it. But, whatever the reason I couldn't figure out what her problem was or how to fix it! In the end my Mom had to take her and swaddle her up and bounce her until she fell asleep. So, instead of just being thankful that my Mom is willing to take care of Hailey, a little part of me felt like a failure that I couldn't calm my own child. Why is that??? Maybe I feel too much like I have to be Hailey's everything and that I should be the super Mom that has it all under control and doesn't need any assistance- but, really, who is that Mom? Who can do it all by herself without any help or advice? So, I guess that I really am not all that Hailey needs, she just doesn't realize that yet!! :)

14 weeks

Hailey turned 14 weeks old, yesterday! I can't believe that she's been a part of our family for only such a short time. When my Grandma came over the other day she remarked that she sure did have a lot of baby stuff in our livingroom. It made me think... We definitely do have a lot of baby stuff. We have a play mat, a bumbo seat, a bouncy seat, a pack 'n play with a mobile and diaper changing station, a boppy pillow, 2 baby blankets laying around, a highchair with a few toys on the tray, numerous burpclothes, mylicon gas relief, her medicine for her tummy, a camera (can't have that too far away- you never know when she might do something worth capturing!), exercise ball to bounce her on when she gets too cranky, a stack of baby books (that she doesn't have any interest in for more than 2 seconds), the book, "What the Bible Says About Parenting" by John MacArthur, a scrapbook, a little baby photo album...wow!! I hope I don't find anything else. It might just make us look like psycho-obsessive parents! (oh, wait! I think that we probably already do!) I guess on top of all that I should say that I rearranged the pictures on the wall so that I could put up a frame with pictures of Hailey. I remember people telling us that our life was never going to be the same, but for some reason I just didn't realize how true they were. It makes me thankful that Korey and I had a few years of marriage before we threw a baby in the mix. Not that I would ever go back to the time before Hailey, but it does make that time a little sweeter to us! We're planning an overnight trip to West Salem, today, and I can't get over how much stuff we need just for Hailey!! It doesn't seem right that a little baby should need so much stuff, but she really does. It seems like we never go a day without her needing her outfit changed at least once- either from poop or spit up, so she for sure needs at least 2 outfits. I figure we need at least 15 diapers, extra wipes, her pajamas, a pack 'n play, a few toys to play with, her bouncy seat- just in case she gets fussy(which is probably a guarantee- she's not very good at having her routine messed with...), maybe 3 or 4 burp clothes, 2 blankets and her little wrappy thing to sleep in, 1 or 2 bibs, the camera, 2 nuks(just in case 1 gets lost!), her gas relief stuff, and her diaper bag! Hopefully that's enough stuff! Good thing they have a 24 hour walmart close by. :) What did people do without them??? When I went away for the first overnight with Hailey I forgot to pack almost all of my stuff- good thing i was going to visit my sister and I could just borrow all her bath stuff and make up- because I was so busy packing stuff for Hailey! Good thing she's so cute and loveable that no one cares if her Mom is wearing the same clothes two days in a row! :)