twins are fun!

Maysen and Maelle seem to have such a great relationship, these days. It's been incredibly fun to see them grow together and actually play together. They seem to share everything these days- chairs, boxes, nuks, mommy's arms, trouble, little tyke cars, food. It seems like if one of them has something the other feels like she should have it, too. It's kind of a strange thing, as a mom, to watch. When my other 2 were little they would get jealous if another baby were in my arms, but not my twinnies- if they see me holding one of them the other one needs to get right up there in my arms- even if she was playing perfectly well or was in someone else's arms before she saw me pick up her sister. Some days it is exhausting to be needed so much, but most days it is sweet and wonderful and I love every minute of my sweet baby snuggles. 

I feel like the first 7 months of the twins life were the hardest months of my life...the next 7 months were a little easier...but the last few months have just been fun. I've been able to enjoy having twins and when people say that I'm so lucky to have twins I can truly smile and say "yup, I know" and really mean it! Not every day or every minute is awesome and wonderful, but there have been so many days in the last few months that I just haven't been able to stop smiling, giggling, and laughing at the antics of these two crazy kids. It's almost as if, for the first time since they were born, I truly feel like twins are a blessing and a special gift from God.
(don't get me wrong- I loved them from the minute they were born...it's just that my life felt so overwhelming that it was hard to enjoy them)

I got a new backpack to carry the girls in (one at a time) and I took Macy for a ride first and you would have thought I had told Maelle that Maysen was my favorite from the way she reacted...this is her little face- poor girl was inconsolable until I finally got Macy strapped in and picked her up, too!! But, the other one is her face as soon as I put them BOTH down and they could investigate the backpack to their hearts content! 

I'm hoping that the backpack will be a good way to take walks in the backyard at our new house...it's gonna be a little different than in town- no really nicely paved sidewalks, more like walking trails through the woods :)

a night to remember!

A few weeks ago a friend of ours asked Hailey to be the mini prom queen in our town's prom. I didn't know all what it entailed, but it turned out to be more than I had imagined and basically a little girl's dream come true! It was truly- a night to remember- for all of us :) 

The day started out by our friend, Sammie, coming, bringing flowers and picking Hailey and her dress up and taking her to get her hair and make up done (yes, they gave her a little make up kit to take home- her newest prized possession) and to the park to take pictures- apparently she got the royal princess treatment all day :) 

I don't know if you know how much Korey loves his little girl, but he was so proud of her and treated her like a little princess all evening long! She, of course, ate it up! He bought her a little corsage and took some cute pictures with her- a little girl's dream come true :) (at least this one- who's absolutely in love with her daddy) He even gave her a little pep talk on the way there and ended it with, "you'll always be my princess, Hailey" to which she beamed!!
Another little man who was super proud of "his" Hailey, was her little brother, fireman Jack! He was so excited to see her all dressed up and had to get dressed up in his fireman best, too!! One thing I really dream about for my kiddos is that they can grow up to support one another and be there for one another- at least for one night it was a sweet reality :)

Almost all of her favorite people came, too- Sammie, Bob and Karen and Grandma and Grandpa. She, of course, loved all the attention! (almost as much as she liked all the sparkles the girls put in her hair and on her arms) :) 

She walked out with a little boy- Caden, who was a little scared, so she had to hold his hand. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever to see those two little people come, after all the poofy dresses and big kids. There was an audible "awwww" from the audience :) I would say the little people stole the spotlight! 

Miranda is the friend who got Hailey into prom and she was just as gorgeous as my little princess!! Hailey was just so in awe of all the girls in the dresses that she had to have some pictures with some of them! She really loved the poofy dresses the best! :) 

On the way to Prom Hailey was all smiles and giggles and seemed so grown up, but on the way home her 4 year old self was showing  as she said, "momma, I'm so tired that I don't think I can ever walk again. all my energy is gone" and then proceeded to ask if she could sleep with her new make up kit that night :) 

Hailey's first prom was definitely a night to remember!!

sunshine and warmth

yes- we finally have sunshine and warmth- two things that we haven't had for what seems like months and months around here!! I think I may have been getting depressed...because when the sunshine came out, we were able to go out and play- it felt so great and wonderful. I smiled a little more, laughed a little more, had a little bit more energy and enjoyed this house a whole lot more!! I feel like we've all been stuck inside for so long that it feels great to get a little change of pace and spend some time outside! We've been taking walks, trimming trees (yeah...you should see the huge pile of gigantic branches Korey "trimmed off"- seems more like he's taking trees down, rather than trimming them), raking, riding bikes, playing in the backyard, going to the park- we even ate lunch outside! woohoo!!! (a double win, because then all the mess stays outside, too) :)

Please, dear God, for my sanity, let this weather continue :) 

17 months

wow. that's all I can say about how big my girls are- simply wow! 

Maysen Ann weighs almost 22lbs

Maelle Kay weighs 21lbs

Both are wearing 12 month clothes, but I bought them some new summer jammies (ok, my friend picked them up at a garage sale for me- don't want anyone to assume I've been out hitting up garage sales with my brood) ;) in a size 18 month and they fit pretty good :) 

Both girls are cutting their molars and it's been a week filled with some not fun days (and a few not fun nights) 

Neither girl is talking much, but they both have started saying, "mama" one of the sweetest sounds to my ears :) and Maysen has started saying, "hello" when she picks up a little phone. She still says, "Hi daddy" and Maelle has started saying, "dadda" when Korey comes home! Makes his heart happy, too, I think! They both will say, "ma" for either milk or more, but it sounds hilarious- it's like they're yelling "ma, ma, ma" over and over again and following me around with their sippy cups :) 

Blowing kisses is still one of the girls favorite things to do. It's so precious to have them come up to me and blow me a little kiss!

Both girls have also started wrestling with each other and tackling each other at random times of the day. It's so hilarious and it always starts a huge giggle fit from everyone!

Maysen loves her Daddy- almost more than her mommy, but she still seems to prefer me above him when she's hurt (for now, anyways...didn't take Hailey long to choose Daddy over me) :) 

Maelle definitely would rather have mommy than anyone else- she's even started screeching when Hailey tries to give her a hug when I'm holding her- possibly out of fear that Hailey's going to try and take her out of my arms :) 

As the girls get older its been more fun to see their little personalities shine out...

Maelle LOVES books. She loves to get them off the shelf and bring them to me- she even has her favorites that make her giggle. She's also a huge fan of legos. She's been playing with them- putting them together and taking them apart- they keep her occupied for hours!

Maysen really loves to see what her brother and sister are up to. She is a huge fan of Hailey and follows her all over the house- makes my heart super happy to see Hailey treat her so well and talk to her in baby talk. If Maysen's the first one up from her nap she always sits and snuggles with Hailey for a bit, before getting off the couch and playing. 

We've started a buddy system at our house, now- each big kid is in charge of a little kid- Hailey has Maelle and Jackson has Maysen. They take their job very seriously and the twinnies do not make it an easy job for them!
It's so fun to see my little m&m's growing up and getting bigger and bigger. They get more and more fun the older they get and I feel like as each month goes by life gets a little easier and a little more fun! :) I think we're definitely starting to reap the benefits of having a bunch of little kiddos, all relatively close in age!!!

Wrestlemania

small house+cranky kids=1 desperate momma

thank goodness for pinterest coming to my rescue with a sumo wrestling idea (this is probably one of the few things that I've pinned that I've actually done) :) 

The days have been rather long, lately, the weather hasn't been very nice and the kiddos have been cranky and bored, so we've had to get creative...yesterday it was sumo wrestling fights- with Daddy's t-shirts and pillows stuffed in :) Who needs Ultimate Fighting or the Hunger Games when you have sumo wrestling?! 

no hands

maybe she doesn't want to get her hands dirty. maybe it takes too long to put the food in her hands and then put her hands in her mouth. maybe it's easier to eat without her hands. maybe she just really wants to lick her plate clean. maybe she doesn't really have a good reason and she just likes to eat this way... no one's really sure why Ellie has chosen to eat with out her hands these days :) 

peace?!

We've been in our little "jail cell" (as we've taken to affectionately referring to our house) for a little over a month, now. The newness is wearing off and we're starting to settle into a routine- some days its a routine of crankiness and whinyness. some days it's a routine of grumbling and complaining. not quite as often as I'd like the days fall into a routine of making each moment count-filled with snuggles and cuddles and giggles. 

So, how have we been doing in the peace department?? 

I've been giving up a lot more control and trying to allow more of the childish behavior to go- while making sure that I focus on the important things- the "big deals". We've been working on first time obedience and obeying even when mommy can't see you. We've had quite a few consequences...some that hurt mommy more than anyone (such as, no movies in the afternoon for Hailey=no mommy break while everyone else is sleeping). I've made it a new "rule" for myself that I won't get upset or irritated when someone spills something, but will just clean it up and chalk it up to childishness and learning to use a cup...definitely been a stretch a few times (think entire container of juice spilled IN the refrigerator and running out the bottom and flowing underneath) In general I've been working on showing kindness to my kids. I think that has been the biggest difference in the peace of our house, this month. It's been a lot more humbling and difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Sometimes it's just amazing the irritation that creeps up in my heart over the smallest things. 

The kids have gotten fairly good at making their own fun in different parts of our house...which usually translates to, "tearing apart and completely destroying as many rooms of the house as possible". It's been fun to see them all get better at playing together and seeing their creativity and ingenuity, but it's been hard to see them destroy the whole house in a matter of minutes and not get completely frustrated and irritated. 

Our house is so small that there's no way to get away from all the noise and chaos- they even follow me to the bathroom. Sometimes by the end of the day my ears are all "noised" out. On those days it's been a little harder to be kind and not just want some quiet.  

On the days when 2 arms are not even close to enough and 1 lap is not big enough...it's been a little hard to keep the irritation from creeping in and to react kindly to the whines and cries. 

The good thing is that I've been asking for prayer from a few friends and that seems to be helping me keep my heart in the right place. The other good thing is that I feel less stressed than I did last month. I feel less cranky and irritable and more at peace than I did a month ago. I know that my heart is more at peace than it was last month...and that is all I need to keep me praying, working and striving towards peace. I'm not going to achieve perfection, in this life. I'm striving and working towards becoming a mom who brings peace to her home and as long as I'm not going backwards I'm going to be thankful for forward progress :) 

This month I'm linking up with my "bloggy" friend Melanie at Only a Breath!

pure bliss

yes, pure bliss would be the only word I could use to describe what a weekend away without our kids feels to Korey and I- made even sweeter by the fact that the huge snowstorm we were going to get fizzled out and turned into nothing, so we were able to sneak away at the last minute! 

I literally threw clothes in a bag for Korey and I and took laundry baskets for the kiddos- not sure if we all even had enough clothes or matching clothes, but I didn't care- I just wanted to go and spend some one on one time with my man :) 

And, it's pure bliss, being away. 

We shopped til we dropped on Friday. We went to Scheels and looked at and tried out every gun in the store. We bought ammo. We bought skinny jeans (yay! been looking for those for a long time). We bought coffee and sipped it calmly and quietly.  We went out for some nice lunches and dinners (we even managed to go to the same place we had stopped on our honeymoon and eaten our first breakfast as a married couple...awwww). We went to a stand up comedy club(I was the only girl, there, so I got a little bit of ribbing from the comedians...good thing I have 4 kids and am good at thinking on my feet). We went to Lambeau field and toured it (apparently they are very serious about not stepping on the grass...even if it's an accident they're not that nice about it). We went to 2 different sporting goods stores and tried out more guns and searched for duck decoys (apparently Korey's the only man in the sporting world that spends all other season's dreaming about duck hunting). We went out for wings at a little college sports bar(and felt incredibly old...but loved the wings, none the less). We laughed. We took long hot showers without anyone bothering us. We slept in. We drank whole cups of coffee without reheating them. We slept all night long without any interruptions. We went to a movie. We went out for dinner at 9:30pm. 

It's been pure bliss.

Today we're heading home. We're gonna go and pick up our kiddos at their grandparent's houses and head back to real life. I'd be lying if I said I missed them the whole time. I'd definitely be lying if I said we were both in a hurry to get home. But, I'd also be lying if I said that we didn't talk about them the whole weekend or if I said that we weren't gonna start missing them more as we got closer and closer to home. :) 

disappointment

how do you handle disappointment?! 

I know how I do...I cry, I hug my kids, I cry, I text my friends, I feed my kids ice cream for dinner and I whine like a little girl who lost her pet pony...or maybe even worse...maybe like a little girl who just didn't get the pony she wanted! Then aforementioned friend who received one of the sad pathetic little whiny texts stops by with a cup of Starbucks and flowers and there are more tears, but happy tears this time. It's a sad day when you don't get what you want, even when you know that it must be God's best for you! 

So, tomorrow, instead of going on a long weekend away with my amazing husband, relaxing, enjoying some peace and quiet and sleeping in- I'll be home alone with my 4 awesome children doing dishes, making dinner, changing diapers, giving baths, wiping little noses and hopefully not spending too much time feeling bad for myself :) 

with God all things are possible

when I was pregnant with the twins people would often ask me how they could pray for me and over and over I would say, "pray for my marriage. pray for me and Korey to make it. pray that we would not only survive, but thrive." You see, I had read the articles, I had seen the statistics and I was thoroughly scared. I was worried that the stress of having 4 kids under 3 would get to us. I was worried that we would give up on each other. I was worried that we would forget to go to each other and forget to trust God. But, after the most stressful thing to ever happen in our marriage, so far, I can stand here and tell you that prayer works!! God was so gracious to me and Korey these past months and I'm so grateful for that. There's no earthly reason why 2 people should have laughed when they wanted to cry; dealt so graciously with one another- forgiving one another when they took out their frustrations on each other; still like and enjoy one another's company after wiping noses and butts, doing laundry, cleaning, listening, and giving up most of their own time and energy to their kids. But, we trust in the promise of Mark 10:27, "with men it is impossible; but not with God: for with God all things are possible". 

God truly did a wondrous work in our marriage! Korey and I aren't the same 2 people that got married 7 1/2 years ago. We aren't the same 2 people who got frustrated and irritated with each other when we did our first house remodeling project. We aren't the same 2 people that struggled with infertility. We aren't the same 2 people who nervously left their dog with a friend to go and celebrate their 1 year anniversary. We aren't the same 2 people who took their firstborn on their 4th anniversary getaway weekend. We aren't even the same 2 people that went away for a long weekend almost a year and a half ago. We're definitely different- in a good way! I think that we're both a little more comfortable just being who we are and accepting each other for who they are. It's fun to look back and see how much God has grown each of us, since we first said, "I do". Our marriage has been tried and tested and I can honestly say that I love Korey more today than I ever have. This man has so many amazing talents- he's kind and gracious, he's a great dad, he's willing to step in and help- no matter what that requires, he's a great encouragement and best of all- he makes me laugh all the time, even when I'd rather cry or be angry! God blessed me above and beyond when He gave me Korey! 

On Thursday we are going to parcel our kids out to both sets of grandparent's and leave for a long weekend away!! We're both so excited...I'm counting down the days and I think Korey might be, too. :)  

"he that has a cheerful heart has a continual feast"

these kids make me laugh, they bring cheerfulness into my heart and my life!

our old neighbor's always say that our kids keep them young, but, the truth is- they keep me young!

Even when life gets hard and the stress threatens to take over...I just can't help but laugh and giggle when I see these sweet faces- they're just always doing something goofy or silly! 

A few nights ago Korey took Jackson to Fleet Farm and the girls and I stayed home. Hailey had this brilliant idea to play "balloon touch" (where you hit the balloon up and try to not let it touch the ground) only she made a new rule- if you let it touch the ground you had to hit your face with the balloon. It was hilarious. We laughed so hard. I think for almost 20 minutes the 4 of us just laughed and giggled and hit the balloon around the bedroom. It was great for my heart and my countenance. I felt myself buoyed up. I'm pretty sure I smiled for the rest of the night. When I went to bed that night I thanked God for the cheerful hearts that He's blessed my children with- they truly do create a continual feast of fun for our whole family! 

too much?!

over sharing is something that I definitely struggle with. I never know what to share; how much to share; what not to share; how much to keep between myself and God; what is being "honest" and truthful; what is telling too much. I never want anyone to look at my life and see a perfect mom or a super mom. I never want anyone to think that they can't share their struggles with me because I don't seem to have any. I want to be honest and real enough that people know I'm not perfect; that I don't have it all together. But, I don't want to over share. I don't want to feel like I have to tell people everything and get their opinions on everything. There are certain times in my life that I know I should keep quiet. It's only me and my fear of what people are thinking about me or possibly even (gasp) judging me for certain things that makes me feel like I need to justify myself to them. And, that's, generally, where I over share. I over share my reasoning behind things. I over share my feelings on things. I over share my thought processes. 

It's amazing how being a mom of 4 crazy and wild children can leave me feeling lonely at times. It often happens at Bible study or in my conversations with a friend that I tend towards over sharing, because it's there- in that vulnerable place that I want someone to "get it" someone to understand without judging. But, I've been realizing that it's there, in that vulnerable place; the place where I'm at my most exhausted that God is calling and asking me to trust in Him and not care what other's thoughts and feelings are towards me. It's hard for me to get to that place- that place where I don't care; where I can just be who God called me to be without fear of what another mom or wife thinks of me. I'm hoping that as I grow in the Lord it will get easier- does it, my older and wiser friends?? 

A verse in Proverbs that has begun to change my heart and my life, lately, is, "each heart knows its own bitterness; and no one else can share its joy" (14:10) In his commentary on Proverbs Charles Bridges says, "no two of us are framed a like. ... Each therefore must in a measure tread a solitary path, and in that path often submit to be misunderstood" 

I think this thought changed my life because I never even considered before that I would be misunderstood...and that it was ok! what a novel thought, huh?! Even more crazy is the thought that perhaps I have misunderstood others. That is a very humbling thought. 

I think that is why my children are so encouraging and so wonderful for my heart...they remind me, daily and sometimes by the minute, that only God can know my heart. They bring me to my knees continually. And, when I'm down on my knees I'm not worrying about anyone else. I'm not focused on what other's are doing or thinking. I'm focusing on God and Him being the source of my peace and wisdom.

happy easter

It's been such a wonderful Easter weekend for us...we've been enjoying having Daddy home for an extra day. we've been enjoying the warm weather. we've been enjoying the time to reflect on what Jesus did for us. 

Isaiah 53:5, "He was pierced for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed" 

 As we were dying eggs I was talking to the kids about how our sin makes us ugly and brown, like all the colors mixed together, but Jesus' death on the cross cleanses us as white as snow- just like the eggs. And Jackson said, "Jesus brings us pieces and puts it in our heart, but not pieces of gum- that's Nani" I think he was talking about peace...and it probably stemmed from the fact that we were having a very unpeaceful day...but, I don't think I've stopped giggling since he said it. 

And, I just love how my son immediately thinks of having peace in your heart when he thinks about Jesus!

fyi...dying eggs with 4 little people might look kind of cute, but is probably not a great idea...

 we spent yesterday at Grandma and Grandpa K's house. It was a good time filled with yummy food and stories by Jackson :) He's become quite the storyteller these days...the best part are his facial expressions!

 we tried to get a cute little kiddo picture...

 after Maysen got  over her near death by choking experience she really hammed it up for the camera...maybe she thought that was her punishment for not smiling good enough ;) just kidding...Jack just took his job of holding onto Maysen very seriously!

the best part of Easter was...our secret Easter bunny is back!! I still have no idea who it is, but I do know that whoever it is, they followed us to our new house :)

Happy Easter!