I did it! I made it to 32 weeks!
(here's me and one of my best friends, due almost 2 months apart, but looking eerily similar in size) I breathed a huge sigh of relief on Friday morning....
And, then today, I read, "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears" Psalm 34:4 and I knew that more than allowing us to make it to 32 weeks, God had done a great work in my heart and my life in the last 20 weeks(yes, it has been 20 weeks since we found out I was carrying twins)!!
I wrote this prayer to the Lord and this morning and it so encompassed what He has been teaching me that I thought I'd share it with you all.
Lord, I really am in awe of how far You've brought me - I marvel at Your faithfulness through these last 20 weeks. I feel a peace deep in my soul that could only be from You. There were days that were shrouded in fear and trepidition- days where I wasn't sure how I was going to make it- some of the darkest, most selfish days of my life, but You remained faithful! I sought You out in Your word and You drew me to Your side and delivered me from my fears. You calmed my anxieties and You proved Your faithfulness over and over again. You brought me to the place where I can honestly say, "whether I bring my girls home or not- You will be glorified and honored in my life and cirucmstances and that is all that matters." Thank you, Lord, for not leaving me in my selfish, self-pittying state- thank you for faithfullly standing by me and delivering me from the fears that threatened to overtake my life. We still have a ways to go, Lord, before the real work begins, but I am convinced that You will continue to remain faithful and to that hope I continue to cling. I refuse to let fear rule, because, "I sought you out, You heard me and delivered me from all my fears!"
It is true, ya'll ;), we do still have a ways to go, but God has proved His faithfulness to us time and time again and I know that He will continue to be faithful as I start my non-stress tests this coming week, see the doctors more and more often and continue to try and keep my babies growing inside my ever expanding "oven" as long as possible! :)