Sunday, December 29

To my friends...

If we were sitting at my sticky dining room table, I'd clear you a spot, pour you a cup of coffee and share a little piece of my heart...

*I feel like my kids are at a hilarious's just not always hilarious to be their mom 
*I wish I could laugh more often
*having two 2 yr olds is kicking my butt...literally some days I wonder if I will survive the day
*I love waking up to a clean house, but most times I just don't have the energy to clean it after the  kids go to bed and it's just plain depressing when it gets messy again so fast
*sometimes I want to hire our babysitter just because she leaves the house sparkling clean when she leaves :)
*most often my grand plans end up with someone in tears- and often it's me
*I try not to make too many plans
*I love playing and being just often doesn't feel worth the work
*I'm feeling kinda lonely...the kiddos have been sick, we've been busy and I am missing my friends
*I'm feeling kinda lonely for God...the kiddos haven't been sleeping well at night, they haven't been sleeping well at naptime and that equals not much quiet alone time for mommy and her Bible
*I often find myself at the end of my rope, with nothing left to give...that's often at 9 in the morning
*I feel like a failure as a mom
*I haven't cooked a "real" meal in weeks...possibly close to a month- I think even the kids are getting sick of frozen pizza, mac 'n cheese, hotdogs and pancakes for supper
*Korey's been working so much that I almost cried tears of joy when he said no to work to go grocery shopping with me last night
*my husband is pretty amazing...who gives up work to go grocery shopping with your wife??!!
*I haven't been caught up on the laundry in years, but I did finally get some towels and washclothes washed before we ran out about a month ago...since then we have run out a few times!
*my toilets desperately need cleaning...every single day
*I'm so excited to get a fireplace, but the thought of one more thing I need to "tend" to during the day seems overwhelming
*there's nothing that makes me feel less equipped than parenting...
*there's nothing I want to do better than be a mommy
*I feel like I've given up so much...but I still find myself irritated about small, seemingly insignificant things
*for 5 minutes my life feels so overwhelming and I just wanna sit down and cry...5 minutes later its so different...I wish I could remember that better in the rough times.
*I scrubbed the floor 2 days ago...since then we've spilled milk, coffee and juice. squished playdoh onto it and eaten numerous needs it again already! 
*I can't seem to keep my kids noses wiped...they're always walking around with snotty faces and sticky faces
*I can't tell Maysen and Maelle apart when they are wearing the same clothes and both have their hair down...maybe that's why they've been taking their ponytails out every chance they get- they like messing with me
*sometimes getting my kids to help around the house and do chores doesn't seem worth the work...other times it seems like an awesome help
*Jackson finally learned to put his jacket and boots on himself...that feels like an amazing accomplishment
*my twins make me laugh so hard. they take all the fun parts of 2 year olds and double them
*Hailey is struggling with her hearing...we have no idea what is causing all the fluid on her ears and making it hard for her to hear, but it is driving all of us nuts! I feel like I'm constantly yelling things at her :( (She's only struggling with the "soft tones", so she can hear loud noises and little kid voices)
*I took my christmas tree down on the 26th...I couldn't wait to be done with it and all the needles and the twins continually playing with it! 
*today I struggled to get my twins to stay in their bed for almost 2 hours at naptime...that depresses me, because I really thought we were done with that
*I'm leading a women's study on a book called "Give Them Grace"...I feel like the least equipped person to lead a bible study
*Jack has been begging for a little brother...we do feel kinda bad that he's the only boy- surrounded by girls
*Ephesians 4:29 is my prayer for me and the kiddos this year "let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" 
*I heard this said about that verse on a program on the radio- it's like giving them a silver present with a beautiful bow each time you talk...I was sadly convicted that my words aren't always beautiful gifts to the hearer (and wish I'd had time to listen to the whole thing, but got interrupted, so that was all I heard)

1 comment:

  1. I can understand your feelings however I cannot imagine how two 2 year olds would be!!! Your are the sweetest and I know it may not seem that way to you at times but it is apparent to those around you!