Happy birthday!!

My little twinnies turned 3 and had a super fun time of it!! They wanted to help make their own breakfast...so we all worked together on special birthday waffles :)

Taking a little bit of time out to snuggle :)

Then we quick sang happy birthday before taking hailey to school! I think they liked it!

After dropping off hailey they asked for donuts, so off we went for donuts :) because apparently you get whatever you want on your birthday :)

After daddy got home we went to everyone 's favorite place- Buffalo Wild Wings! Yes, I do think their dad has brainwashed them all! But, the twins were super happy to get to hear the whole restaurant clap for their birthday! (At least Macy was- elli was a bit scared of it all) 

Then on thanksgiving we had our family over and got to have Minnie Mouse and Dora cookies to celebrate! Macy was mostly excited because she thought the Macy's thanksgiving day parade was actually her parade! 

I think my littlest girls enjoyed turning 3!! 

Two big 3 year olds!

These girls are 3...how is that possible???!! Where did the time go??

 I feel like it was just yesterday that we were finishing up our thanksgiving dinner of peanut butter and jelly, enjoying our last day as a family of 4 and looking to our future with a bit of fear and trembling.

And, now, here we are a happy family of 6- dealing with newborn twins is a distant memory, our hospital stays are (hopefully) behind us, life has taken on a bit of a routine. we are getting into the rhythm of 4 kids- in fact some days it is downright easy...but, we still live on peanut butter and jelly and we still look to the future with fear and trembling...who wouldn't with 4 teenagers to come. :) 

3 years ago Korey and I were on our way to the hospital and I was in for the longest, but best labor of my life! I still can't really believe I made it to 37 weeks carrying these little buggers. I can't believe I was able to deliver naturally without any complications. It was all God. He just gifted me again and again with these two! In more ways than I could ever count. I know that Korey still considers the day we brought these two home from the hospital the proudest day of his life...I, on the other hand, will never forget the day I got home with two babies and for the first time in my life had to think about how I was going to carry two carseats into the house at the same time- or make the choice of who to take first and who to come back for. (Korey had stopped to get us dinner and pick up a breast pump for me) I will never forget the amount of tears that I shed over these two precious babies or how much God used them in my life to shape and grow me. I think I love them so dearly because I know how much they cost and would do it all again in a heartbeat. On the day I found out I was carrying twins my whole world changed. I cried- like all out bawled ugly tears in my doctor's office. The nurse gave me a popsicle and a tissue and was worried I wouldn't make it home safely. I lived in a fog for days, after that. Even just the thought of caring for two babies at one time seemed more than I could handle. But...after months of "house arrest" and weeks of bedrest I knew God wasn't gonna leave me stranded. Today, I can say that I'm not the same girl that sat in her doctor's office and cried over weaning her tiny baby so she could help her twins grow. I'm not the same girl who lamented the fact that she'd go to Target without make up or showering. Today, the day my twins turn 3, I'm stronger, I'm tougher, I'm older, I'm wearier, I'm more broken, I'm changed. And for that, I'll never be able to thank God enough. God met me in the weariest, most broken hours. It was there- in the days of little to no sleep- that God reached down, pulled me to Himself and helped me carry on. I've never needed God like I did when I had two newborns, a 14 month old and a 2 year old to care for. And, I love Him all the more because He was there when I needed Him. He was there when no one else could be and I know- 100% that I am alive and well- still smiling, hugging, loving and caring for my 4 precious kiddos because of the grace that God showered upon me.

 

There's just something special about these little self avowed "best friends"! They love each other so much- but will fight each other pretty much to the death for something that's theirs! We hear "I have to go potty" about 640 times a day. They love to eat lunch at school with hailey, but eating is only secondary- people watching and giggling is the real reason we all love to go...that and fighting over who gets to sit by hailey. Pink is still Macy's color and purple is elli's. I love that their colors are still theirs! 

Happy birthday my sweet baby girls!! 

A happy ending!

Sometimes a picture just can't do a day justice! These beautiful girls holding their precious operation Christmas child shoe boxes, all packed and labeled seems so sweet and so innocent...but, what it really is- a sweet happy ending to a fairly rough day! Armed with our picture lists and pencils all 5 of us hit up Target to fill our shoeboxes. It had already been a bit of a long day...poor Jack was struggling with the stomach flu and Hailey had a long day of school in already. But, since we aren't ones to let life hold us back (aka...too dumb to just change our plans) we persevered! We met the sweetest lady who had 3 children who were all grown and gone, but who had actually been on the ground helping to deliver the shoeboxes and was able encourage us all and reduce this momma to tears with her beautiful encouragement that these days are truly precious...an encouragement that I would need to cling to just a few hours later! After the craziness of buying our presents we headed off to McDonalds to play and eat. Jack, who had seemed to be doing much better, took a turn for the worse and ended up throwing up at McDonalds. And, as any mom knows- the minute throw up is added to the mix you know your day is going to take a turn for the worse! We hurriedly bundled the rest of the kids up and packed the remains of their food for them to eat in the car...Since we hadn't had a chance to play in the play place yet I had some not so happy little girls. Then, the unthinkable happened- Hailey dropped her hamburger in the parking lot! As we pulled away most of the kids were in tears and this momma was just ready to be done with her day. Thankfully, it was a 20 minute drive home and that gave each of us a chance to get our emotions under control. :)

 

As the day ended it didn't really get a ton better...sure we smiled nicely for a picture, after we threw huge fits and fought over who got to put the purple unicorn in their box and who got the pink ponies vs. the orange ones and poor Jack threw up one more time. As I finally tucked them into bed, placed my exhausted little self on the couch and had a good little cry all I could think was "I'm not even sure it was worth it". But, looking back at the picture I can remind myself that it was- it was worth it! all the tears, all the pain of cleaning up vomit, all the little kiddie fits and the exhausted momma. It was all worth it! Because, hopefully my kiddos aren't just buying gifts for little kiddos across the ocean...maybe, just maybe they are learning a little bit about thinking of others. maybe they are teaching their mommy a bit of patience and a bit about what's important in life. maybe it's not just about packing shoe boxes. maybe its about something more. And maybe that something more makes it all worthwhile :)

be still my heart...

It comes as no surprise to anyone else that I just adore these two cuties...but, sometimes I'm just overcome with emotion when I think about how big they've gotten; how far they've come and just what a testament to God's faithfulness these two have been in my life!!

Tomorrow marks the 3 year anniversary of the day these girls tried to enter the world...a day I will never forget. a day etched in my mind in complete detail. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God worked a miracle that day and kept my babies cooking a bit longer. I also know that at the time it seemed like a death sentence to be stuck pregnant with them any longer. :) I can't believe my babies are going to be 3 soon...and that that day is a distant memory!

 I love these two little best friends so much! I'm so thankful that God blessed me with them! I think I finally understand, now, why all the parents of twins willingly have more kids- it gets so much better the closer they get to 3!! I love spending time with these two! they make me laugh and giggle so much. They're so full of life and spunk, it's just incredible. Most of all, when I think about Macy and Elli-  I'm so thankful that God gave me two kids to split this much personality between...I shudder to think of the poor soul strapped with this much personality alone!

I love you, my sweet little matching princesses. I know you sweet girls will never remember the "day you almost came" and I hope and pray that you never have to experience it...but, I know that that day is one of the most poignant days in my memory bank and I will never, ever forget how scared I was and how I prayed that God would just spare you from being born early! I'll never forget the day spent in labor, the scary contractions, the frantic phone call to your Nani and Sheila- begging for a ride to the hospital. I'll never forget how fast your daddy drove home from up north and how he spent the whole night sitting by my bed in his work clothes. I'll never forget how God orchestrated the doctor to be in town and willing to stop by and check on me "quick" and then figure out a nice little concoction of drugs to stop labor. I'll never forget how relived I was when I finally felt my body relax and the contractions slow down. I'll never forget how the thankful tears flowed and how your daddy and I praised God in that hospital room. I'll never forget...and I hope that you won't ever forget how much your mommy loves you, your daddy loves you, but most importantly how much God loves you!